Navigating Toxic Friendships

Have you ever left a conversation with a friend feeling drained or unappreciated? At first, you might brush it off as overthinking, but over time, you might notice constant negativity, emotional exhaustion and a lingering feeling of discomfort. If so, you might be in a toxic friendship without even realizing it. If you feel stuck, you aren’t alone.

Although every friendship has its ups and downs, you should never feel manipulated or undervalued. If you find yourself always walking on eggshells around a friend, it might be time to rethink the friendship.

“I first realized I was in a toxic friendship when my friend would treat me a lot worse than their other friends,” sophomore Xavier Ward said. “They would make really mean remarks that weren’t used in a humorous context and were unnecessary.” A fake friend may try to disguise mean comments as a joke, but if you constantly feel critisized and humiliated, it’s a sign that this friendship may not be as genuine as it seems.

Not all toxic friendships are outright cruel though. Instead, some toxic friends might reveal their true intentions through subtle signs of jealousy or comparison. “My so-called “friend” always tried to compete and was never really happy with my accomplishments,” Sarai Lopez, a sophomore at Fort Collins High School explained. “She just always saw me as competition, not [as] a friend.”

Once you’ve identified the unhealthy friendship, the hardest part is over. The next step is deciding on how to address it. First, starting off with an honest conversation can help clear up any misunderstandings. However, if nothing changes despite your best efforts, it’s time to let go. “I just [confronted] them, and how they reacted told me all I needed to know about them,” sophomore Dayrah Martinez said. Don’t hold on to the false hope that they may change later on, because if they wanted to, they would.

As soon as you decide you must distance yourself, setting firm boundaries is essential. This could mean limiting and avoiding contact, or even cutting ties with them completely. There’s nothing easy about doing so, and you might second-guess it and feel lonely at first. As time goes on, you’ll feel as if a strong weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you'll remember why you chose to walk away in the first place.

“Don’t be scared to give up on a friendship, because you’ll just deprive yourself of [finding] true friends,” D.A, a freshman at Innovation High School said. Letting go might be difficult, but in doing so, you’ll find yourself opening up the door for more real, genuine connections.